Can Mediation Help Divorcing Couples?

Once two parties have decided to divorce, most people immediately consider appointing a solicitor.  At Ansham White Solicitors, we strongly advise our clients to reconsider mediation even if they have already been through the process of mediation. In particular where children are involved it is important to work out a parenting agreement in the first instance as well as any financial settlements with the soon-to-be ex.

Instructing a solicitor and potentially triggering a litigious start could make an already difficult situation potentially much more gruesome emotionally, therefore, in many cases we encourage our client to make a fair and reasonable offer through mediation with view to avoiding litigation.We work closely with several reputable mediation specialists as well as counsellors.

In simple terms, divorce mediation is a process by which two individuals prioritize and articulate their individual desires, and then work in collaboration with professional mediators so that each party can get enough of what they need to agree to the dissolution of the marriage.

The right mindset is essential for a successful mediation, and both parties need to be committed to the process.

Often the divorcing couples feel the need to punish their partner, under such circumstances mediation will likely be unsuccessful. If you feel extremely resentful, get the help and support you need so you don’t sacrifice your children’s well-being for the sake of vindication.

Perhaps one of the biggest challenges of a divorce is accepting that you no longer will be able to control everything about your kids’ lives when they’re with their father or mother. This is what makes a good parenting agreement and the bedrock of a “good” divorce.

Without a doubt, you’re going to have to let go of control over certain aspects of your kids’ lives – and how their Dad or mum chooses to parent them.

Good mediators don’t allow for an imbalance of power, their aim is to ensure that both partners feel equally empowered to advocate for what they deem to be fair and equitable for themselves and their children. In our experience mediation can immensely help divorcing couples, in many cases even when we have been instructed and the matters is before the court we encourage our clients to be amicable as much as possible and aim to reduce the potential for conflict.  This often means that many cases settle out of Court.

2017 really was the year of the divorce!  What do the latest statistics really tell us? Even though divorces (including same-sex divorces) are both higher than they were last year, the numbers are still nowhere near the peak in 2003 when they were over 150,000. However, bear in mind that it is most likely that the key factor in the overall drop during this period is no doubt that more couples are choosing to live together rather than marry – cohabitation is currently the fastest growing family type in the UK.  I should point out at this stage that cohabitation has it’s own pit-falls and disadvantages which most people are totally oblivious about.

2018 may bring some exciting changes to accommodate the new mood towards divorce. It is clear that there is an increasingly vocal lobby demanding reform, we can only hope that the government takes note and acts to end the blame game. At Ansham White Solicitors we are here to support you during an emotionally challenging period in your life.

At Ansham White we support the divorcing couple in coming to an amicable agreement.  Most of our divorce cases settle outside court due to the ethical approach. We work with integrity to resolve the problems that divorcing couples face.

Ansham White is one of probate lawyers in Harrow,London